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Rediscovering myself

rediscover

Original image by Greg Rakozy

The end of 2015 has come to a close which naturally has one reflecting and setting goals for the new year. Many of these said goals will fall by the wayside a few weeks in. 2015 had its up and downs for me. The pros: I moved in with Cory. I’ve never lived with anyone other than family, and so it’s definitely added a new dynamic to our relationship. I also started a new job that I love. The cons: Mom had a health scare and Dad’s health is still up in the air.

The pros aside, I feel I’ve stayed rather stagnate. For the most part, I can tell you what most weeks are going to consist of, because I’ve definitely fallen into a routine. It’s no one’s fault other than my own. Cory and I were talking a couple nights ago and he asked me: What is my thing? Meaning: what are my hobbies? It was a bit of a wakeup call because I simply said, “I don’t know what my thing is” and started crying.  

I love watching “beauty gurus” on Youtube, is that a thing? I do love makeup and that’s probably the closest thing to a hobby that I actively participate in. I used to love traveling, even if I’m not the best travel companion, and I loved photography. During our recent trip to Miami, I didn’t take my camera because it just seemed like a hassle. I had my iPhone and that would be enough for a weekend trip, and even then I only took a handful of photos. This was my first time in Florida and at a beautiful beach, I should be obnoxious and posting lots of photos on social media. But I didn’t. I just didn’t feel like it. Which I’m noticing has become a trend this year. “I just don’t feel like it.” or just “Eh.. I’ll pass..”

So why do I feel this way? Why don’t I know what my thing is? I feel like I’ve narrowed it down to two things. I’ve been out of college for a while now, and I’m still in that student frame of mind, the frame of mind that I don’t have time for my hobbies and so I don’t pursue them. The other explanation could be the SSRI that I’m on. It has been amazing in some ways and not so amazing in others. Hello, weight gain and feeling emotionally blunted!

I suppose what I’m getting at is that I want to spend this year rediscovering myself. Life isn’t fun if you’re not enjoying it fully. I need to revisit things I used to love and I suppose I need to have a talk with my doctor about switching medicines or if it’s time to work on weening myself off of them. Here’s to a happy and healthy 2016.

Internet Life Photography Technology

The new year

001 : 365 I first began this post wanting to detail 2008 and the many things that happened, but I don’t want to bore you with what you’ve been able to read in the past, or that I’ve told you. Most of my readers are close friends who hear about what I’m up to on a regular basis, especially if you read my twitter updates. I probably update twitter more than I should at times, but I suppose there are far worse addictions. Overall, 2008 has been a wonderful year. I’ve met a lot of new friends, mostly through flickr, that I continue to see on a regular to somewhat regular basis. Most importantly, I traveled more than I’ve ever done before in a year span. I think that was my big “resolution” for 2008: to travel more. To view photos from 2008 click here.

As for 2009 I’m not making any “resolutions” per-say, maybe a few goals. The word “resolution” seems like a doomed word, who really keeps their resolutions? Well, I suppose there are people out there with willpower, but I’m not one of them. I guess my big goal for this 2009 is to complete Project 365.

I attempted Project 365 last year and it fizzled out shortly after day 100. I lasted longer than I originally thought I would . . . so that’s positive? If you’re unfamiliar with Project 365 it’s pretty simple: you take a photo each day. I recall learning quite a bit about my camera when I was participating, and it’s not a crazy goal to have to keep up with. It helps that some of my friends are participating this year too. I posted my first photo (left) yesterday of my niece. If you’d like to keep up with the my project without joining flickr, you can subscribe to the feed here or livejournal users can add tmg_flickr to their friends.

I’m also brainstorming design ideas for a personal photography website. My brother told me I should do it, and for some reason I’m listening to him. What’s the worst that could happen? Not getting any clients? I’m at least attempting a step forward.

I hope 2008 treated you well and 2009 continues to do so! Happy new year!